I was going to France with my birth family. trouble4hire had paid for it but wasn't going, and mrpet was nowhere in evidence. The plane was leaving and I wasn't packed. My sister was crying and my mom was angry. There was nothing in my college dorm. I didn't know where my stuff was. The time arrived for the plane to have left, and I was still trying to find my stuff and hoping we'd work something out.
I woke up sweating and upset and slowly calmed myself down. I reminded myself that I did not have to go to France and I am a conscientious packer. I thought about the fact that I can't imagine going somewhere with my birth family, and again, no one can make me. I pictured myself at the airport with mrpet and trouble4hire instead, with suitcases and big smiles. I told myself what I would bring if I was going to another country for more than a few weeks - books, a lot of books. Toiletries, with lots of the organic cotton moon supplies I like. Shoes and boots and sex toys. A change of underwear. The rest you can buy, I told myself. You have money. I still couldn't go back to sleep until the Princess Cat snuggled up to my back.
My second dream was also about going to France, and also anxiety-producing. Sigh. trouble4hire was crying and was upset that I was leaving, and I was trying to soothe her and didn't really want to go but I already had the tickets and they were nonrefundable...
Soundtrack to the second part: "Cuts You Up" by Peter Murphy