Hemning Sternberg (moonshadow) wrote,
Hemning Sternberg

Dear Dr. LJ...

I remember a post a while back about getting people to do what you want in relationships. The guy was basically saying he says to every woman he has dated "Never lie to me, that's all I ask," and women lied to him over and over. Finally, this happened with a woman he was involved with and he asked why. Why why oh WHY would you lie to me when you know it's the only thing I ask you not to do?

She said, well, you never accept it when anyone disagrees with you and keep asking them to change their mind and in the end it's easier to just say sure, I liked that movie too. And this taught him about the way that he was actually reinforcing the behavior of lying even though he was dead set against it.

Does anyone know what I'm talking about or remember where it was? Can you find it? I want the link for an article I'm thinking of writing about positive reinforcement.

Help me, Doctor Eljay, you're my only hope!*

*Googling "lying in relationships" was worse than useless.
Tags: genie
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