Hemning Sternberg (moonshadow) wrote,
Hemning Sternberg

Redefining Our Relationships by Wendy-O Matik

Title: Redefining Our Relationships: Guidelines for Responsible Open Relationships
Author: Wendy-O Matik
Genre: Nonfiction, relationships
Reason for Reading: I try to read all the books on polyamory. Because of the small number which get published, this is more workable than you would think. Now, if I tried to read all the books on spicing up monogamy? Then I'd be overwhelmed.
Pages: 92
Copyright Date: 2002
Cover: Abstract drawings of reconstructed underwear on a blue background. I'm not kidding. The abstract drawings also begin each chapter.
First line: "With the encouragement from many friends to write about what I've lived, I have been inspired to take a wild stab into the world of radically defined relationships."
Best part: It was short, which is a nice thing for an ILL to be.
Worst part: It felt sex-negative to me in some ways - I felt the author was saying both explicitly and implicitly, "It's not about sex!" Well, why can't it be about sex some of the time? What's wrong with sex?
Imaginary Theme Song: "Three" by Gaian Consort
Grade: C-
Recommended for: Those who, like me, wish to read every poly book they can get their hands on.
Related Reads: The Ethical Slut by Easton and Liszt, Opening Up by Tristan Taormino.

This book is short. The perspective presented on open relationships is one that is both more structured and more idealistic than the one I have. I don't agree that you should never let your hormones drive your decisions and you should never have sex with someone you just met. I also don't agree (sadly) that being poly means you never have to break up, your relationships just "evolve into new forms." Sorry. That would be nice.

There was no way that I wasn't going to read this book, since it's a book about poly, but I didn't think it was that great. For someone's first book on poly, it would be an okay read. But it's not the best.
Tags: books 2009, nonfiction
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