Hemning Sternberg (moonshadow) wrote,
Hemning Sternberg

because it didn't fit on Twitter

At the supermarket with tsuj. I was starting to feel a little overwhelmed from the crowds, so we got in line. As we were checking out, the guy bagging the groceries says to me, "Miss, say an ex-boyfriend sent you a package for Christmas, and you opened it, and it was coal, would you think..."

I said, "All right, let's stop this train right here. First, I'm not a Christian. Second, I don't celebrate Christmas. And third, I prefer women. So I want to cut this off before it gets any further away from reality."

I swear to goddess, I could not even make this shit up. I'm glad I had a good response. In retrospect, I kind of wish I had said, "You assume everyone is straight and Christian? Dude, this is Whole Foods!"

(He said he found my answer "really shocking." Dude, be grateful I did not bring a pile of snark down on your head. And even what I did say, I did not say in my most sarcastic tone of voice!"

On the plus side, this is why I pretty much won't be going into grocery stores again until January, unless it's an emergency and I have the angry anti-Xmas mix on loud.
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